SOUTH CANADA – after a slight delay, owing to some legal trouble, South Canadian Secretary of the Treasury Alan Fletcher has finally selected a winner in the South Canadian flag design competition. Fletcher had previously been unable to choose a winner, and so had tasked Internet satire site The Winooski with selecting three finalists, from which he would choose the new flag of the young country.
“They didn’t send me anything,” Fletcher announced at the flag unveiling. “Maybe they didn’t get any entries? I don’t think they are a very popular site. At first I thought it may have just been a delay due to the holidays, but I know they were working over Christmas. So I figure probably just no one has heard of that site, and so didn’t send them any submissions.”
Fletcher went on to design the new flag himself, with some input from President Charlene “Skunk” Bedard. Bedard claims the new flag is a callback to her campaign slogan, and the promises she made.
”If you look closely,” Fletcher said, explaining the symbolism of the design, “you can see that circle on the bottom, representing Vermont, which is where we came from. Then you can see the line traveling north, to where we are now, the red circle, representing our nation. And then you can see we’re not quite in Canada, represented by the highest circle. Personally, I think it’s brilliant.”
South Canadians are reportedly happy with the design, although the biggest complaint seems to be that it was accidentally designed in portrait mode, instead of landscape, which has necessitated a redesign of many flagpoles.