Governor Vetoes Measure That Would Provide Dihydrogen Monoxide Detectors to All Vermonters

MONTPELIER – After the shocking reports last year of dihydrogen monoxide contamination in Lake Champlain, the Vermont Senate began work on a bill that would provide detectors of this hazardous substance to every home in the state, free of charge. The detectors would cost the state pennies per unit and would provide an early warning to residents if any dihydrogen monoxide were to enter their homes. The bill was passed unanimously with little discussion, but Governor Scott vetoed it without even reading it, saying he would not sign any legislation that would potentially cost any sort of money, including “the money spent on toner for printing out all these bills.”

Further investigation reveals that most state offices and facilities are not equipped with dihydrogen monoxide detectors, which is a major code violation. Building managers say they have been complaining for years about the lack of this vital safety equipment, but have been told that it “isn’t in the budget this year.” This puts government workers and officials in real danger of dihydrogen monoxide exposure, which can kill a person at high levels in just 3-4 minutes. But Gov. Scott says he has no plans to increase funding for detectors in state buildings, or for state residents.

The detectors can still be purchased by Vermonters at many stores for about $3, and are easily installed onto their plumbing systems, which is where most dihydrogen monoxide enters the home.

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  1. Perhaps The Winooski should investigate prior legislation that requires dihydrogen monoxide distribution systems in all public buildings. And they were trying to require them in private homes as well. Calling them by a pretty name like “sprinklers” does nothing to diminish the threat posed by these system which can be turned on at any time, exposing all of us to this substance.

  2. I think The Winooski should hire Feve as a regular contributor! I also think, if the government is worried about the cost of these detectors, they could just buy everyone a sponge. And if that’s too expensive, just cut them in half and double the cost efficiency.

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