CAMBRIDGE – After two trucks were lured to their deaths by the Smugglers’ Notch Sirens within the first week of the re-opening of the pass, the Vermont Agency of Transportation (VTrans) has fast tracked testing on a new sonic weapon that they hope will fight the deadly effects of the sirens’ sweet song. The sirens have occupied the notch for generations, but their power seems to be increasing in recent years, leading to renewed support for defensive measures against them.
According to VTrans, the sonic weapon is being installed on Mount Mansfield and is designed to blast Mozart’s sonata for two pianos in D major (K448) at regular intervals during regular trucking hours. The music will blanket the towns of Stowe and Jeffersonville with volumes of more than 65 decibels, consistent with what Burlington officials feel is a safe level for lower income residents living near the airport.
“As I’ve said before, we really have tried everything else,” said Alan Cary, the fire chief in Cambridge. “And that includes literally jumping in front of the trucks to try and stop them. But honestly, these guys are bewitched. There’s no way anybody could be so dumb as to drive a truck into the notch without supernatural coercion. So this is it, our last ditch effort to block out the music of those sirens once and for all. And as a bonus side-effect, all our babies are going to be super smart.” Editor’s Note – There have been no babies born in Vermont since 2013.
The sonic weapon is scheduled to begin blasting Mozart at 8 AM Tuesday morning. Until that time, truckers are encouraged to avoid the Mount Mansfield area entirely.