Vermont Running Out of Things to Tax

MONTPELIER – As the state of Vermont continues to seek new sources of revenue to fund its budget, a potential problem looms on the horizon. According to our sources, the government is running out of things to tax. With high taxes on nearly every good, service, and activity already, some are concerned that when the next budget shortfall hits, there won’t be much anyone can do about it.

“We’re projecting a budget shortfall next year,” said state accountant Buck Nichols, “and also the year after that as well. In fact, according to my projections, we should run out of money every year until at least 2037, which is where my projections end. But where is the money going to come from?”

Nichols says that some new taxes being considered are a tax on walking on public sidewalks, a roadkill tax that would charge Vermonters for hitting animals on public roads, and a breathing tax for anyone using public air.

“We’re really scraping the bottom of the barrel,” said Nichols. “Inevitably, all we’re going to have left is to levy a tax on paying taxes themselves. After we do that, we’ve really got nowhere to go.”

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