Nation Fights to Conserve Freedom Resources Over Holiday Weekend

WINOOSKI – Vermont is one of almost forty states being asked to conserve its freedom this holiday weekend. With such an important resource being squandered left and right all over the country, top Washington officials are concerned that we as a nation may soon run out entirely. While several states have already made huge cutbacks in freedom and are not being asked to make further changes, Vermont is listed in the top five states in freedom use per capita.

“Freedom is not an infinite resource,” said newly appointed Secretary of Freedom Susan Pression. “If too many people have too much of it, soon there won’t be any left. The days of indiscriminately giving out freedom to anyone we want are over. The population is just too big to support that now. When you look at states like Georgia, Alabama, Kentucky, even Ohio, they’re working hard to conserve freedom. They’re not using much at all. But you’d be amazed at how much freedom even a tiny, otherwise insignificant state like Vermont uses every single day.”

The request from the federal government comes just as the annual Independence Day festivities are kicking off. According to Pression, this weekend is when the most freedom is used up.

“Almost 9% of all US freedom and patriotism is consumed over this weekend, which is huge, when the 3-4 day weekend only accounts for about 1% of the year. So please, when you are out with friends and family this weekend, try thinking about ways we can take freedom away from people. It’s one small change that can make a huge difference.”

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