Sanders Campaign Sues Switzerland Over Name of Capital City

BERN – Bernie Sanders’ campaign has filed a suit against the capital of Switzerland for use of the trademarked word “Bern.” Sanders has been using the phrase “Feel the Bern” since 2015, well before the country of Switzerland even existed, according to the campaign.

“It is a little flattering,” said 19-year-old campaign staffer Tufar Lefft, “but for Bernie to win in 2020 we need to keep a very focused hold on his branding and his message. If Denmark wanted to name it’s capital after him, we’d be more okay with that. I just don’t think Switzerland is as on-brand. Who’s even heard of Switzerland? Like, seriously, how long has it even been a country?”

Lefft did admit that his high school no longer teaches geography, and that he doesn’t know much about “this new city of Bern.” The lawsuit, drafted by Lefft and one of his friends who is currently in his first year of law school, is asking the city of Bern to change its name back to whatever it was before, and for unspecified monetary damages.

Alec von Graffenried, the mayor of Bern, had no comment on the lawsuit, other than to say that, at 828 years old, the city feels confident it can prove prior use of the name.

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