Vermont Ends All Wind Energy Projects, Moves Toward Cow Fart Energy

HOLLAND – With announcement that the Dairy Air Wind turbine will no longer be developed, Vermont currently has no wind energy projects in the works. Some energy experts are giving up, feeling that there is no hope for any of us if we can’t get one remote turbine erected in a field where the owner is desperate for it. Others, however, are moving on to what they hope will be the next great hope for renewable energy: cow farts.

Methane, while a potent greenhouse gas, is the prime ingredient in
commercial natural gas. Some refineries occasionally “flare off” natural gas to prevent it from going into the ionosphere and causing global warming. But why, say some experts, can’t we harness that energy?

“There is an abundant source of natural gas right here in Vermont,” says Vermont Energy Investment Corporation (VEIC) Cow Fart Manager Wynn Breaker. “Why are refineries literally setting things on fire to cool down the planet? This makes no sense to me. Why don’t we build better refineries here in Vermont, and use the naturally produced methane from our local flatulent cows to create renewable energy?”

Vermont’s dairy farms have been hit hard as many locals have turned to militant veganism but, according to Breaker, “even the vegans have to charge their iPhones.” With green electricity becoming a necessity, and fields are filling up with cows who have nothing to do, the Dairy Air Wind Turbine project has now become the Dairy Art Fart Turbine, and hopes to draw the methane produced from the nearby animals in order to convert it to natural gas.

“I can’t think of a more natural gas,” said Breaker. “We’re going to collect
all that bovine methane, store it, and put it into the brand new natural
gas mains recently installed in the western portion of the state. This is really a win-win for the people and the state of Vermont. Energy development has stalled. What we need, is a fresh fart.”

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4 Comments

  1. LOL… I see some of the words I sent you, brilliantly expanded upon, leaving out my personal recollections. Great! I hope this makes it into the Vt Digger.

  2. And I still like the idea of Jeff Danziger coming up with a design drawing/idea for capturing that methane. I can see the balloons trailing along after the cows! And then, with methane being lighter than air, a really productive cow float past attached to her balloon…

  3. I do hope you will give me a little credit for this. Way back in 1970, my then wife and I came up with Woodsy Owl for a logo for a local conservation group in Rutland, VT. The USFS subsequently took over Woodsy and his slogan, “Give a hoot, don’t pollute.” which my wife came up with. I never copyrighted this, never so much as signed it. If you search this on Wiki-Pedia, you will see a fair number of people claiming authorship. I think the USFS copyrighted it.

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