Latest News from Inside the South Canada Autonomous Zone

SOUTH CANADA – Several days ago a group of South Canadian citizens broke off from the tiny country that was once the town of Richford, VT. Setting up barricades around Phister Road and blocking traffic along S. Richford Road, the insurgents say they are only doing what South Canada itself did two years ago, and will prove that they can govern better than current local leadership.

“For the last 3 days we’ve been forging the basis for our new society, voting on the mechanisms for voting and debating the merits of debate,” says movement leader Alan Fletcher, who says he wound up in the SCAZ by accident and now can’t get home. “In the end we decided that a single system represents a furthering of suppression, so every member can choose which voting system they wish to use.”

Fletcher was, and possible still is, the South Canadian Secretary of the Treasury, and claims he was driving home from work when the barricades were put up, and now lives in a large sleeping bag with two other individuals that he just met.

“I’m a leader, so I had to take charge,” Fletcher says, “but honestly, I’d rather be back home. The rations are meager, the avocados are unripe, and the toast is rye. Please, send help.”

Liked it? Take a second to support The Winooski on Patreon!

1 Comment

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.


*