Patriots Storm Vermont Capitol to Thank Governor for Hard Work and Dedication

MONTPELIER – The State House in Montpelier, VT was overrun yesterday with angry patriots, furious that not enough has been done to thank Governor Phil Scott for everything he has done over the past year. Police considered stopping them, but were unsure about their legal rights to enforce the laws because the invading mob was primarily white men.

Hundreds of Vermonters streamed past security and quickly spread throughout the building, leaving thank you notes and flowers for the state senators and representatives, none of whom were in the building due to the pandemic. The masked and socially distanced mob were able to gain entrance to many private offices, where they left small gifts and tidied up as best they could. One rioter took out the trash in several meeting rooms.

The Governor was strangely silent on Twitter during the entire incident, refusing to publicly condemn the grateful renegades. State Police were called in to monitor and observe the attack, with some even taking selfies with the invaders.

When the fury had subsided, the mob stopped screaming their thanks and quietly let themselves out and returned to their homes. No visible damage was reported, and one custodian confirmed that several windows seemed to open and close more smoothly than they have in years.

Authorities are asking that anyone with information on individuals involved with the rampage stay silent, so as to not get anyone in unnecessary trouble.

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