State Unveils New Employment Partnership with Mafia Called “Vermobsters”
MONTPELIER – The State of Vermont unveiled a joint employment partnership with the Mafia this week called “Vermobsters.” Gov. Phil Scott held a joint press conference […]
Articles by Jill Allen
Vermont Girl Trapped in Store after Maplefields Runs Out of Jeezum Scarecrows
ENOSBURG FALLS – With sightings of the troublesome jeezum crows increasing, some store are running out of protective measures against the obnoxious corvids. On Tuesday […]
Letter to the Editor of The Winooski From the Merpeople of Lake Champlain
Late Wednesday evening, human Burlingtonian and fan of The Winooski Ethel Merman discovered a notice scrawled on a piece of driftwood from our heretofore unknown ichthyoid […]
Vermont Bird Watchers Discover New Type of Bird, Dubbed the “Jeezum Crow”
ADDISON – State ornithologist Robin Redd preempted local access television programming across the state yesterday to confirm what many Vermont natives have long suspected: that […]
Crop Circles in the Shape of Ethan Allen Appear in Sheldon Fields
SHELDON – You don’t need to go to the English countryside to see crop circles anymore. Now you can see them right here in Vermont, […]
Celestial Bovine Seen Over Local Milk Producer’s Land
SHELDON – “I knew right away it was a holy cow, when I first saw it shining over there a month ago!” enthused Ima Steer […]
Local Farm Unveils Holstein Freezing Technology for Fresher Milk
SHELDON – Looking to Vermont’s electoral primary on Tuesday, August 14, a local cow juice producer sees an opportunity to boost sagging sales and promote […]