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Burlington

Jared Kushner Purchases Burlington Telecom, Immediately Files For Bankruptcy

September 30, 2017 The Winooski 0

BURLINGTON – Following the sudden exits of other potential bidders, the Burlington City Council has made the decision to sell Burlington Telecom to real estate […]

Church Street Struggles to Cope With Entire Protest-Free Day

September 27, 2017 The Winooski 0

BURLINGTON – Business owners on Church Street were left struggling yesterday after the cancellation of the “March For Justice” organized by civic group “Vermonters For […]

Local Evangelical Churches to Begin Hosting Dungeons and Dragons Games

September 26, 2017 The Winooski 0

WINOOSKI – Several area churches have teamed up in a new campaign to get a more diverse crowd through their doors. The pastors have started […]

Vermont Cows Call For Ice Cream Boycott

September 25, 2017 The Winooski 0

SOUTH BURLINGTON – Eleven cows from a local dairy farm are picketing the Ben & Jerry’s Vermont headquarters calling for an immediate boycott on all […]

Dihydrogen Monoxide Contamination in Lake Champlain

September 13, 2017 The Winooski 9

COLCHESTER – A new study released this week confirms that Lake Champlain is severely contaminated with dihydrogen monoxide, and likely has been for some time. […]

Burlington School Board Eliminates Teachers Entirely, Asks City for 300 Robots

September 12, 2017 The Winooski 0

BURLINGTON – The Burlington School Board has asked the city for a bond of $12M to aid in the purchasing of up to 300 teaching […]

Hypocritical Buses Promote Seatbelts as Passengers Flounce Unrestrained

September 11, 2017 The Winooski 1

BURLINGTON – In a bizarrely passive aggressive move by Green Mountain Transit, many Chittenden County buses are now displaying messages that read “Seatbelts Save Lives,” […]

UVM to Provide Hi-Tech Shades for Short-Sighted President

September 6, 2017 The Winooski 0

BURLINGTON – According to leaked classified documents, the University of Vermont Medical Center may be announcing a collaboration between its Department of Ophthalmology and The […]

Lake Monsters Promotional Giveaway Causes Confusion

August 28, 2017 The Winooski 0

BURLINGTON – Centennial field became a temporary junkyard Sunday evening as fans confused over the evening’s special promotion tried to drop off bins and boxes […]

Tornado Drops House of Kansas Republican Onto Burlington

August 24, 2017 The Winooski 0

BURLINGTON – In a freak twist of nature, a tornado swept across the country this week, carrying debris from as far away as New Mexico […]

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Recent Posts

  • Syrup & Cows #131 – 12/8/19 – The Future December 8, 2019
  • Republicans Cut School Lunch For Baby Yoda December 7, 2019
  • Local Satire Site Becomes Irrelevant After Failing to Be Podcast December 6, 2019
  • Burlington Progs Introduce Resolution Allowing Infants To Vote December 5, 2019
  • Vermont House Working on Legislation to Attract and Retain Millennials by Asking Their Grandchildren What They Like December 4, 2019

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  • Annie Stratton (the one in Vermont) on Vermont Bans Environmentally Devastating Practice of Recycling
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