{"id":2472,"date":"2018-10-19T08:18:15","date_gmt":"2018-10-19T12:18:15","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.thewinooski.com\/?p=2472"},"modified":"2018-10-19T08:18:15","modified_gmt":"2018-10-19T12:18:15","slug":"vermont-crows-hit-girl-in-face-with-worms","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/thewinooski.com\/index.php\/2018\/10\/19\/vermont-crows-hit-girl-in-face-with-worms\/","title":{"rendered":"Vermont Crows Hit Girl in Face With Worms"},"content":{"rendered":"<div>SHELDON &#8211; Taking a cue from <a href=\"https:\/\/www.cbsnews.com\/news\/seal-slaps-kayaker-with-octopus-in-viral-gopro-videos\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">their seal counterparts in New Zealand<\/a> Wednesday, two of the Jeezum Crows who trapped Raven Goh in a Sheldon Maplefields announced that they have achieved revenge by successfully slapping the 16-year-old wheelchair user across the face with night crawlers.<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>Siblings Byrd and Wren Blackwell, took time off from their jobs as security for <a href=\"http:\/\/www.thewinooski.com\/index.php\/2018\/09\/25\/vermobsters-to-contract-with-jeezum-crows-to-provide-security-for-program-participants\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Vermobsters<\/a> to describe the incident. &#8220;We were pretty pissed when the Airborne Stinkers assailed us, and the girl got out of the store unscathed. Humans can&#8217;t get the better of us. It really stunk when we were disoriented by the high flying skunks,&#8221; Byrd confided exclusively to <em>The Winooski<\/em>.<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>&#8220;So we decided to teach her a lesson,&#8221; continued Wren. &#8220;Raven wheels out of DollarDump wearing a genuine feather boa and a smirk, and I turned to my sibling and said, &#8216;Let&#8217;s worm-whip her.&#8217; So we pulled up some squirmers and hit her across the face. It was sweet vengeance.&#8221;<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>Despite repeated requests by our reporter,\u00a0 the earthworms, Lo and Little Lee, refused to comment. Their lawyer, Anne E. Mal of Beau and Vines, cites &#8220;trauma&#8221; as the reason for her clients&#8217; silence. &#8220;The Lees couldn&#8217;t worm their way out of\u00a0 this disaster,&#8221; she explains.<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>The victim of the attack remains remarkably upbeat in the aftermath. &#8220;If I can handle crow poop, I can definitely handle worms. The Lees are the true survivors of this crime.&#8221; Goh stated.<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>State ornithologist Robin Redd declined to speculate on whether this act of avian aggression will affect the corvids&#8217; relationship with the State, saying she had to fly to a meeting with Vermobsters&#8217; head honcho, <a href=\"http:\/\/www.thewinooski.com\/index.php\/2018\/09\/20\/state-unveils-new-employment-partnership-with-mafia-called-vermobsters\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Erna Buck<\/a>.<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>If any little birds tell\u00a0<em>The Winooski<\/em> any more details about this situation, we will let readers know!<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<div class=\"mh-excerpt\"><p>SHELDON &#8211; Taking a cue from their seal counterparts in New Zealand Wednesday, two of the Jeezum Crows who trapped Raven Goh in a Sheldon <a class=\"mh-excerpt-more\" href=\"http:\/\/thewinooski.com\/index.php\/2018\/10\/19\/vermont-crows-hit-girl-in-face-with-worms\/\" title=\"Vermont Crows Hit Girl in Face With Worms\">[&#8230;]<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":2475,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"spay_email":"","footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_is_tweetstorm":false,"jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true},"categories":[6],"tags":[],"coauthors":[102],"class_list":["post-2472","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-vermont-life"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"http:\/\/thewinooski.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/10\/TWFI-2018_10_19.bmp","jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p8JVRF-DS","_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/thewinooski.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2472"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/thewinooski.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/thewinooski.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/thewinooski.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/thewinooski.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2472"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/thewinooski.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2472\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2474,"href":"http:\/\/thewinooski.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2472\/revisions\/2474"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/thewinooski.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/2475"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/thewinooski.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2472"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/thewinooski.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2472"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/thewinooski.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2472"},{"taxonomy":"author","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/thewinooski.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/coauthors?post=2472"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}