SOUTH CANADA – Stores in South Canada were closed this morning, as workers stayed home with their families to get ready for a big meal that many considered a national tradition. It wasn’t until almost noon that someone remembered that they no longer lived in the United States, and that Thanksgiving wasn’t technically a holiday for them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“Oh shoot, I never even thought about that!” said Secretary of State Angela Washington, who also manages the Post Office in town. “I totally gave everyone the day off! Do I need to call them back in?”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Several citizens attempted to text President Bedard, asking if they did indeed have the day off, but the president was in the middle of cooking a turkey and she was unable to return messages for most of the morning.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“Of course we have Thanksgiving,” President Bedard said, once the bird was in the oven. “I mean, Vermont has Thanksgiving, and Canada has Thanksgiving, so we’re gonna have Thanksgiving. I guess we shouldn’t have assumed it would be today, but I feel like we should just go with it for now, but maybe we probably should take down those Pilgrim decorations. We never had no Pilgrims. And hey, I say we set an actual date for South Canadian Thanksgiving sometime next week. Or maybe we’ll have two, I don’t know. There’s a lot to be thankful for. So, thanks everybody.”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"