Fox Media announced today that it is cancelling the Trump Presidency Show due to low ratings. \u201cWe don\u2019t know what went wrong,\u201d said Oliver North, the former President of the NRA and now a spokesman for the gameshow network that also features a fake news affiliate. \u201cFor a while, it was going gangbusters. The Donald\u2019s tweets were ratings gold, just gold. But all of a sudden it just fell off.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Analysts are speculating that many viewers may be tuning in to the latest episodes of Game of Thrones and mistakenly thinking they are watching the Trump Presidency Show. When asked about this possibility, a dejected North responded, \u201cCould be. Sure. We\u2019ve got Kelly Anne Conway, but over there they\u2019ve got real dragons! I mean, how can we compete with that? Well, I mean, they\u2019re not real dragons. But they\u2019re sort of real, you know? I guess people think they\u2019re real. Anyway, it’s not cool. The North remembers.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n
The Fox production manager for the Trump Presidency Show, who asked to remain anonymous but who is Sean Hannity, said that before ditching Trump, Fox tried everything to bolster ratings. \u201cNothing seemed to work. We ordered him to tweet more lies. We hired the Trump kids to give speeches, knowing they\u2019d say stupid shit that would make Cooper, Cuomo, and Lemon hit the roof! We made up stuff about Representative Omar being a terrorist and fed it to him. We paid Bernie Sanders a million dollars in “book sales” to run for President again and attack Trump, thinking it would create controversy. We even hired George Conway to counter-tweet Trump and call him a liar, deranged, and unfit for office. But it seems to have backfired. Our internal polls show that people actually started believing the stuff we made up for George to tweet about Trump.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
In related fake news, Fox announced that it was appointing North Korean President Kim Jong Un to replace Trump as star of the Presidency Show. \u201cThe guy\u2019s just a drama machine, you know?\u201d said North. \u201cHe knows how to drive TV ratings. That \u2018Dotard\u2019 thing was brilliant. And Krazy Kim\u2019s base loves him. I mean, in his last election he got, like, 99.9% of the vote! Can you imagine ratings like that?\u201d When asked if he thought the American people would buy that Kim was actually the new U.S. President, the anonymous source, Sean Hannity said, \u201cAre you kidding? They believe whatever we tell \u2018em. They believed that Trump was a real candidate and a real president, didn\u2019t they?\u201d <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"