BEIJING – Among the surprises in the new trade agreement with China is the exchange of Meihekou, part of the Jilin Prefecture which borders North Korea, and Vermont, a small state in the northeastern section of the United States. Meihekou, like Vermont, has a population of about 620,000 people. \u201cIn terms of disruption to the lives of our citizens and those in the Vermont prefecture of the United States,\u201d said Xi Jinping, China\u2019s top leader. \u201cPresident Trump and I agreed that around six hundred thousand individuals were a small price to pay for the first step in bringing our two countries closer.\u201d President Trump agreed, saying \u201cThe people of Vermont are used to one party control of their legislature, so not much will change. Bernie will be very happy representing Vermont in the Central Committee.\u201d
By acquiring Meihekou, the United States gets a weapons platform from which cruise missiles and nuclear artillery can be fired against North Korea. \u201cWe will no longer need to have the Pacific Fleet off the waters of Korea,\u201d said Trump, \u201cand China will no longer be flummoxed between their desire to stand by their Korean political cousins and their desire to make a lot of money trading with the USA.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n
China sees the opportunity to remake Vermont through the simple expedient of increasing its population by an order of magnitude. \u201cWe think the actual carrying capacity of the Green Mountain State is more like 6 million people. While it will take a little over 2 years to fly 5.5 million people to Burlington, at the rate of 1 flight per hour 24 hours a day every day of the year, we are going to stretch that out to 4 years so that housing can be erected and infrastructure improved to meet the needs of our citizens,\u201d said China\u2019s lead negotiator, Liu He.
During the press conference, VT Digger reporter Anne Galloway asked if that buildout would include high speed internet access and high speed rail. \u201cYes to both,\u201d responded He. \u201cWe will have the rail paralleling 89 and 7 by the end of 2020. \u201cA lot of the steel will be brought to Vermont from China.\u201d
\u201cAnd that won\u2019t count against our trade deficit!\u201d exclaimed President Trump, \u201cYou can see what a great deal this is for the US!\u201d
Xi laughed at the interruption and continued \u201cAs you probably know, the citizens of our country enjoy 5 gigabit service in our big cities, and we intend to do the same here in Vermont. The key is replacing the outmoded wood telephone pole system with much taller steel towers, many of which will have a power generating turbine on top. We think wind in Vermont will supply all the electricity our citizens will need. And another thing, all that steel will be manufactured in China and shipped to Vermont.\u201d
\u201cNot increasing the trade deficit! No increase!\u201d the President of the United States gleefully exclaimed.
Christian Avard of The Vermont Standard, a Woodstock VT weekly, asked if Xi planned to exempt the Village of Woodstock, renowned for the fact that the Rockefeller\u2019s paid to bury the utility lines that would otherwise distract from the beauty of the Village Green. \u201cChina\u2019s intent is to preserve a handful of places demonstrating the traditional heritage of Vermont, but we are not sure Woodstock will make the cut. That town has a lot of very flat land with terrific bedrock for supporting skyscrapers, and we think it will prove to be ideal for the downtown of a city with a population in excess of 500,000 people.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cAnd all those steel girders won\u2019t count against the trade\ndeficit!\u201d shouted Trump.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Nadia\nGeddit is the nom-de-plume of a public official who lives in Windsor County.<\/em>
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