WASHINGTON – The Democratic Party made a cryptic announcement on July 4 that has rocked the political world: \u201cSenator Bernie Sanders has undergone a potentially dangerous and still experimental ‘Mind Meld’ with Kamala Harris and Elizabeth Warren.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The Winooski has subsequently learned that scientists at a secret US laboratory in the nation of Georgia have perfected the \u201cMind Meld\u201d. \u201cForty years ago this was the stuff of sci-fi,\u201d said Gregory Nyetshov, Director of Mind-Altering Research at the lab. \u201cWe actually got preliminary plans for how this might be done from notes Gene Roddenberry left in the drawer of his night stand.\u201d Readers will recall the number of gadgets often featured as standard fare on the original \u201cStar Trek\u201d series, Roddenberry\u2019s creation. \u201cFrom their communicators to their phasers, you don\u2019t think that stuff was all just made up, do you?\u201d said Nyetshov.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Psychologists have been working as hard on the \u201cMind Meld\u201d as physicists have been working on the transporters that enabled persons to travel molecularly around the galaxy in the 1960\u2019s show. \u201cWe won,\u201d boasted Natasha Flamingorsky, chief of therapy on the project. The three candidates agreed to the \u201cMeld\u201d, as they are calling it, following last week\u2019s debates. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cThis shows how desperate the Dem\u2019s are,\u201d said Vice President Mike Pence on hearing the news. \u201cThey know that no one of them can defeat the greatest president this country has ever had \u2013 Donald Trump,\u201d exclaimed Pence as he donned a red \u201cMAGA\u201d cap.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Democratic Party Chair Tom Perez sees it differently. \u201cThe strategy is brilliant and we are so grateful that science has brought us to this point. We plan to run Bernie as a conglomerate, a candidate that brings the Sanders\u2019 passion, Warren\u2019s policy chops and Harris\u2019 ability to win us California in one complete package. The real winners in this will be the American people.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
So top-secret was this operation that only one other Democratic Campaign was even aware of it. Joe Biden learned of the Mind Meld through his own personal fiber optic network, and while he would not comment personally, an anonymous member of his campaign confirmed: \u201cHe is not pleased!\u201d We have not yet learned the identity of the \u201cmelder\u201d, but will continue to probe\u2026<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"