And I get it, cars are getting way too fat also. It’s not all your fault! Do people really need a vehicle with the same approximate width as Lake Champlain? But that same lane width that prevents people from driving into things also encourages people to drive faster, since they don’t have to drive in, technically speaking, a straight line anymore. And you may be surprised to know this, but getting hit by something going faster hurts more!<\/a> This is why we have so few tortoise-related injuries. So put on those wonderful \u201cbump outs\u201d you hardly ever wear and slow folks down.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Road diets are not just another crash diet fad. In fact they\u2019re the opposite! Narrowing the road at strategic spots REDUCES crashes! Unless, you know, you suck at driving. Like, you know, most people.<\/p>\n\n\n\n We get it. There’s backlash. Your fat friends stop inviting you out. You get judged. Like when you actually tried to slim down over on St. Paul Street to try and look<\/em> killer without being<\/em> killer. And people got mad. But we sent a nervous, unconfident driver with an admitted lack of skill through this intersection. The test subject had heard those rumors about this intersection being unusable, and was pretty worried about the whole thing. To their shock\u2014there was plenty of room to turn, they did not crash into the curb, and they continued on their merry way–albeit more than a little concerned about the competence of their fellow drivers. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Road, it\u2019s clear that folks are not used to driving on right-sized roads. We\u2019ve even got photographic evidence! Look at this photo by admitted liar The Winooski<\/a><\/em>!<\/em><\/a> This truck\u2019s tires are on the double-yellow, and there\u2019s three (3!) whole feet of space between this truck and the curb. Avoiding invisible zombies, or poor lane positioning skills? We\u2019ll never know. <\/p>\n\n\n\n This is who we\u2019re sharing the road with, folks. It\u2019s time that we Make America Drive Well Again. Road, it\u2019s time to pull yourself together. Literally. It’s the only way they’ll learn.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"![\"\"\/](\"https:\/\/lh4.googleusercontent.com\/CVf03_Klek52stwpwpGt2YQ0dnKrPvYVjvifUUSlY3qcubaIM5tm__mVH1E-iIlgY6kDNaxjZkX549duHbQXEbiRQnITZJ9eA-GiCoLQD3RePqvkLJgvhkT_AcRimVAhv2SSDBRL\")