BURLINGTON – With strong support from Gerber and Playskool, the Progressive Party in Burlington has introduced a new resolution that would lower the voting age to zero. Prog councilor Kerri Freewoman announced the initiative at a daycare center amid the sound of crying babies.\u00a0 \u201cLook, this is a marginalized constituency whose voice hasn\u2019t been heard and has been silenced for too long,\u201d said Freewoman.\u00a0 Struggling to make her point over the din, Freewoman turned to the daycare owner, \u201cCan\u2019t you shut those things up for a minute?\u00a0 I\u2019m trying to talk here.\u201d\u00a0 Freewoman continued, \u201cAllowing babies to vote will give Burlington an important perspective.\u00a0 We\u2019re calling the proposal Infant Runoff Voting, IRV.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Reached for comment inside a Mamava nursing pod, a spokesperson for the Coalition for Infant Justice, Dr. Dee Dypress, lauded the idea.\u00a0 She noted that adults, teenagers, and middle-schoolers have been running things for too long and screwing everything up.\u00a0 \u201cGlurg,\u201d agreed the excited soon-to-be-voter she was holding to her chest, giving a thumbs up sign.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The AARP strongly decried the proposal. \u201cWe don\u2019t think you should even vote unless you can show an AARP membership card at the polls,\u201d said newly-appointed Vermont AARP director Knodell Bushor.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Mayor Miro Weinberger offered that the proposal isn\u2019t necessary. \u201cThe city council is already full of babies voting on things,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
A Coalition for Fetal Justice spokesperson said the proposal is a step in the right direction but doesn\u2019t go far enough. \u201cWhat about us?\u201d she is reported to have said from the womb, said a doctor using a stethoscope.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Councilor Freewoman said she and her fellow Progs plan to formally introduce the measure right after naptime.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"