BURLINGTON – Another scandal has hit the Queen City this week, after multiple witnesses report seeing Burlington Mayor Miro Weinberger leaving City Market with a single use plastic grocery bag that contained alleged groceries. After years of flagrantly being imperfect, this may be the final straw for the beleaguered politician.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“I saw it!” said Champlain College student Reese Ackle. “I was loading up my organic cotton reusable tote with locally sourced greenhouse kale when I heard out of the corner of my eye a crinkle. The kind of crinkle that only comes from the world’s greatest evil. And when I turned my ears to see who would be so horrible as to even accept such a sack, I couldn’t believe what I tasted. I tasted horror. It was the mayor. And he didn’t even round up the 97 cents for charity. I almost puked in my kale.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Over six people report having seen Mayor Weinberger with a plastic bag, although there is not agreement as to what was in the bag.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“I didn’t get a good look at what he was buying,” Ackle said. “I craned my neck real hard, but I couldn’t see through the thick barrier of death. It was probably Froot Loops or something with corn syrup in it though.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Weinberger himself does not deny using the bag. According to his official statement, he needed a trash bag for the little trash can under the sink in the downstairs bathroom, and rather than buying a package of capitalist, non-biodegradable trash bags, he opted to grab a free bag at City Market to use instead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
In response to the scandal, City Market has now stopped its policy of giving out bags completely.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"