BURLINGTON – The effect of wearing masks is already beginning to manifest in children born in China. OBGYNs expect the phenomenon to show up in the US beginning in late November and early December of this year \u2013 Babies born with abnormally large ears that stick out from their heads.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cAll this mask wearing is pushing our ears out and the stress on the back of our ears is causing the cartilage to expand,\u201d says University of Vermont\u2019s Dr. Nora Headwing. Headwing is part of a team that studies repeated habits on human DNA. \u201cWhat is shocking,\u201d she admits, \u201cis the speed with which our genes are adjusting.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The team has studied people who spend hours each day typing at computer terminals. \u201cWe haven\u2019t seen any signs of fingers growing longer,\u201d says Edmund Palmy, PhD, a member of the team. \u201cAnd we thought the current crop of aging baby boomers\u2019 grandchildren should have bulging eyeballs given the hours their grandparents spent watching television.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The obvious question and one that puzzles the experts is this: Why is this phenomenon of big ears extending out from our skulls happening so quickly? \u201cThat\u2019s the mystery we are trying to wrap our heads around,\u201d admits Headwing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Experts have named the condition the \u201cAlfred E. Neuman Syndrome.\u201d \u201cPerhaps our bodies are recognizing that we are in this for the long haul and we are going to need ears that can withstand the constant pressure of holding up face masks,\u201d speculates Headwing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Scientists are conflicted. \u201cShould we be working to develop a vaccine to prevent this, or will big, strong ears be the new \u2018six-pack\u2019? This could potentially be more devastating than the virus itself,\u201d laments Palmy, who couldn\u2019t resist quoting Scripture: \u201cThose who have ears \u2026 well, you know\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"