{"id":4999,"date":"2020-09-10T11:44:40","date_gmt":"2020-09-10T15:44:40","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/thewinooski.com\/?p=4999"},"modified":"2020-09-10T11:44:42","modified_gmt":"2020-09-10T15:44:42","slug":"burlington-company-releases-edible-face-masks","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/thewinooski.com\/index.php\/2020\/09\/10\/burlington-company-releases-edible-face-masks\/","title":{"rendered":"Burlington Company Releases Edible Face Masks"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

BURLINGTON – Burlington\u2019s CityPlace may have found new life as City Council engages in top secret negotiations with a business as experimental and entrepreneurial as it is controversial. In a The Winooski<\/em> exclusive, we
have learned of a proposal to put a manufacturing plant in the middle
of downtown Burlington that would produce edible Covid-19 PPE.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While the world has been focused on the numbers of new cases, and while we mourn the suffering and loss \u2013 of life, employment and large gatherings at sporting events \u2013 alarms are beginning to sound regarding the millions of face masks, gloves and gowns that are being disposed of every day. One study, quoted by the World Economic Forum, says if every person in the UK used a single-use face mask each day for a year it would create an additional 66,000 tons of contaminated waste. Op\u00e9ration Mer Propre, a
French charity, warns of the risk of there being more masks than jellyfish in our oceans if things don\u2019t change dramatically. Enter \u201cViral Edibles,\u201d a start-up looking for a home and a neighborhood amenable to extreme ecological sensitivity.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Jack Hanson, Progressive Councilman from Burlington East, is excited about the possibilities. \u201cCityPlace has been a mess. Now, at long last, we see something exciting, something not only our community could support, but the whole nation can be excited about.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

S. D. Ireland is said to have its trucks cleaned and at the ready for large-scale mixing of the ingredients of the edibles. \u201cA little water, a little Clorox, and we are pouring Hydroxychloroquine and Chloroquine like there is no tomorrow into our mixers, just to be on the safe side,\u201d said Scott Ireland, President and CEO.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The science behind the project is complicated. \u201cWe may need to leave a bit of concrete in the trucks, just to give the edible mix some staying power,\u201d explained Ireland. \u201cWe\u2019ve learned,\u201d said Councilman Hansen, \u201cthat the project has to consider how many calories are in each mask.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Spokesperson for \u201cViral Edibles,\u201d Jongsoo Wong, explained the company is attempting to ensure that the calories contained in the masks would be burned up in the process of chewing and digesting them, leaving the caloric effect at net zero.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Wong says the company is currently looking at several flavors as initial offerings. \u201cWe are experimenting with Mac & Cheese, Tofu and Meat Jerky. The chemistry is very intricate,\u201d he continued, \u201cas we have to create a product that can last up to eight hours but is also edible after a brief single use.\u201d \u201cViral Edibles\u201d expects the Mac & Cheese to be popular with the younger crowd, the Tofu to engage the diet-conscious folks, and the Meat Jerky to appeal to health care providers and teachers who are also country music enthusiasts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the edible face masks are a hit, the company is poised to begin research on edible gloves and gowns. \u201cWith this project the sky is the limit,\u201d exclaimed an excited Don Sinex who recently regained control of the CityPlace project.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Some of the construction complexities have to do with how the project could include housing over a manufacturing plant that would exhaust pungent odors. One plan under consideration is to exhaust the fumes below ground rather than into the air. \u201cIf you can\u2019t see it, you probably won\u2019t smell it,\u201d reasoned Scott Ireland.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As word of the project has leaked out, some are expressing cynicism. Chief among the detractors is Burlington\u2019s lone Independent Councilman, Ali Deng. \u201cNow we know why S. D. Ireland would want to be involved in CityPlace,\u201d said Deng. \u201cThis project would provide a lucrative, long-range contract that would keep their trucks busy year round. It smacks of a monopoly!\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

BURLINGTON – Burlington\u2019s CityPlace may have found new life as City Council engages in top secret negotiations with a business as experimental and entrepreneurial as […]<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":5000,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"spay_email":"","footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_is_tweetstorm":false,"jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true},"categories":[2],"tags":[],"coauthors":[91],"class_list":["post-4999","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-burlington"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"http:\/\/thewinooski.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/09\/TWFI-2020_09_10.png","jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p8JVRF-1iD","_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/thewinooski.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4999"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/thewinooski.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/thewinooski.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/thewinooski.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/thewinooski.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4999"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/thewinooski.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4999\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5001,"href":"http:\/\/thewinooski.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4999\/revisions\/5001"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/thewinooski.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/5000"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/thewinooski.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4999"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/thewinooski.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4999"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/thewinooski.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4999"},{"taxonomy":"author","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/thewinooski.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/coauthors?post=4999"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}