DETROIT – Now that Rudolph Giuliani is fully in charge of the Trump Post-Election Democracy Destabilization Campaign, he and Temporary President Trump held a press conference outside the equipment storage area of \u201cBig Jim\u201d Hilton\u2019s Garden & Yard Center in North Detroit, whose motto is, \u201cWe\u2019ll make your yard look like Paris!\u201d\u00a0 Only two reporters attended the press conference, both from Fox News, plus Shaggy, the garden center\u2019s \u201cChewbacca\u201d mascot.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
At the “press conference,” Giuliani announced that he has just hired the law firm of Howard, Fine & Howard as the campaign\u2019s new election contest attorneys.\u00a0 Giuliani stated that Attorneys Moe Howard, Larry Fine, and Curly Howard will implement the campaign\u2019s strategy of running around the courtroom, knocking things over, throwing cream pies, creating chaos, and wrecking everything.\u00a0 \u201cMany people are saying these guys are the best,\u201d interjected TP Trump.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019ve heard such great things.\u00a0 Take a look at their record and you\u2019ll see.\u201d\u00a0 Plus, Giuliani announced that the attorneys are also electricians, plumbers, homebuilders, golfers, and surgeons, and that they\u2019ve offered to rewire his house and also operate on him for free.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The Fox reporters asked Attorney Moe if he had any experience with election law, which made him explode in anger.\u00a0 \u201cWhy, I oughta . . .\u201d he responded, as he slapped the reporter across the face, tore out a chunk of his hair, attempted to saw him on the head, and poked him in the eye while making a \u201cboiiing!\u201d sound.\u00a0 That prompted Attorney Curly Howard to remark, \u201cNyuk, nyuk!\u201d and Shaggy to make a Chewbacca roaring noise.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Sean Hannity and Fox & Friends later praised Giuliani for the location of the press conference and his choice of attorneys and commented that this was more proof of TP Trump\u2019s genius.\u00a0 \u201cThe Democrats tried to steal this election, but with the help of Attorneys Moe, Larry, and Curly, we\u2019re going to get it back!\u201d said Hannity, demonstrating a complete lack of understanding of how elections work.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It was later revealed that the other person present at the press conference was not in fact Shaggy the garden center mascot, but former Trump advisor Steve Bannon who had taken a job with the garden center.\u00a0<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"