BURLINGTON – Forget about burning that Yule Log, if Burlington City Councilor Pott Ashe has his way. Ashe plans to introduce a Charter Change, concurrent with a required changeover to all electric heat. Getting rid of residential and commercial fireplaces in the Queen City will have a \u201cdramatic impact on reducing global warming,” according to Ashe. \u201cWe must assure a total changeover and no cheating by having fireplaces, pellet, or wood stoves to offset the electric mandate.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ultra-Progressive Council Person Fiorie Embers agrees. \u201cThey are sooty eyesores and dry my sinuses. Get rid of that old technology of burning wood or gas in fireplaces. We already banned firepits, this is the next step,\u201d adding, \u201cElectric logs only in today\u2019s world. Besides, those piles of wood are backyard eyesores to us young professionals. Give us heat pump views.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The head of the Vermont United Chimney Sweeps Association, Cree O’Sooty, says his group will challenge the proposal in the courts if necessary. The V.U.C.S.A. has hired the law firm of Pellet, Gas, & Grate to fight the amendment. Lawyer Kordell Wood is implicit in having the amendment denied. \u201cHow is an electric Yule Log a decent replacement anyway? \u201cThis proposal must go down in flames,\u201d he added.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Over at the Crown Point Academy of Design and Home D\u00e9cor, Headmaster Dermont Castings says this proposal would change the future of interior design at both the residential and commercial levels. \u201cIf passed, the ambiance of an active, crackling fireplace would be lost to artificial, electric inserts and bluetooth burning sounds.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Meanwhile Pott Ashe and his wife Sodah suggest that the next step would be to mandate removal of \u201call those eyesore chimneys in Burlington,\u201d or face hefty fines. When asked how Santa would make deliveries, a mumbled answer of, \u201cLet him use UPS or FEDEX,\u201d was overheard.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"