{"id":683,"date":"2017-10-02T07:34:27","date_gmt":"2017-10-02T11:34:27","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.thewinooski.com\/?p=683"},"modified":"2017-10-02T07:34:27","modified_gmt":"2017-10-02T11:34:27","slug":"vermont-cows-now-protesting-state-wide","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/thewinooski.com\/index.php\/2017\/10\/02\/vermont-cows-now-protesting-state-wide\/","title":{"rendered":"Vermont Cows Now Protesting State-Wide"},"content":{"rendered":"

WINOOSKI \u2013 What began as a protest and lobby by local cows<\/a> singling out Ben & Jerry\u2019s ice cream for a boycott to call attention to spurious Wi-Fi interference involving milking machines has now spread to the far-flung corners of Vermont. The leader of the original protest, who has assumed the role of the official spokesperson for Vermont\u2019s entire bovine community, confirmed the escalation in an early-morning interview.<\/p>\n

\u201cIndeed, it\u2019s now a state-wide moooovement,\u201d she said, proudly from a milk-shed inShelburne. \u201cAnd I\u2019m working on recruiting udder supporters from New Hampshire and New York, as we speak.\u201d<\/p>\n

The Holstein activist, who goes by the name of Gertie, is originally from Maine. She has a record as a known fencer, having crossed over two state lines, into Vermont. When she was pressed by a reporter from The Winooski<\/em> for more details about her spotty background, she became noticeably prickly. \u201cIt\u2019s just Gertie,\u201d she snapped, when asked about her last name. \u201cLike Cher and Adele and Sting!\u00a0 Get it!?<\/p>\n

While overall support for the cows\u2019 protest appears to be growing, the call for a state-wide ice cream boycott is meeting with resistance in some parts of Vermont, however.<\/p>\n

Daniel Garvin, nineteen, from Highgate Springs was unequivocal when asked if he would get behind the boycott. \u201cGo without ice cream? \u201cI\u2019d sooner stick needles in my eyes!\u201d<\/p>\n

James Parsifal, a college professor from Castleton, who was contacted by The Winooski<\/em>, was also lukewarm on the idea. \u201cJust can\u2019t see it happening, old man,\u201d he mused. \u201dThat would be severe deprivation. I like it served with cherry cordial and a couple of sticks of dark chocolate.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOf course I\u2019m sympathetic to the cows\u2019 plight,\u201d said Thelma Entwhistle, a nurse from North Bennington. \u201cBut it\u2019s my seven-year-old son\u2019s birthday party next week and I can\u2019t see him and his friends going without ice cream. And then there\u2019s Thanksgiving coming up\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

A Guernsey from a Richford dairy farm, who refused to give her name, was adamant however that the call for boycott was righteous and bawled loudly that the protests would continue until things changed for the better. She also had a message for the ice cream addicts who refused to support the cows.<\/p>\n

\u201cIf any of\u00a0them\u00a0<\/u><\/em>had been hooked up to that milking machine when it suddenly went completely berserk,\u201d she snorted, \u201cthey\u2019d soon change their tune!\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

WINOOSKI \u2013 What began as a protest and lobby by local cows singling out Ben & Jerry\u2019s ice cream for a boycott to call attention […]<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":685,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"spay_email":"","footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_is_tweetstorm":false,"jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true},"categories":[6],"tags":[21],"coauthors":[],"class_list":["post-683","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-vermont-life","tag-winooski"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"http:\/\/thewinooski.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/10\/TWFI-2017_10_02-1.jpg","jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p8JVRF-b1","_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/thewinooski.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/683"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/thewinooski.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/thewinooski.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/thewinooski.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/thewinooski.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=683"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/thewinooski.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/683\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":686,"href":"http:\/\/thewinooski.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/683\/revisions\/686"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/thewinooski.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/685"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/thewinooski.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=683"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/thewinooski.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=683"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/thewinooski.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=683"},{"taxonomy":"author","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/thewinooski.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/coauthors?post=683"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}