Fletcher Free Library Becomes Epicenter of Turf War for Local Gangs

BURLINGTON – The once peaceful Fletcher Free Library, the largest library in the state, has become the scene of daily violence as rival factions attempt to secure and expand their territories. Traditionally the building has been squarely in the control of “Mystic,” whose blue colors clearly mark the public space as their own. But recently “Valor,” a similar group but who identify themselves with red markings, has been seen infringing on the grounds of the coveted Burlington landmark.

“Look, we had a arrangement,” says one Mystic member who spoke under condition of anonymity. “We get the library and downtown north of the library, and Valor gets Edmunds [Middle School] and south of there. But suddenly they all up in our spot like we not gonna do a battle [sic].” And battle they do. Every morning you can find any number of gang members in front of the library, even before it opens, sending their strongest to try to retake the space. “Yeah, I got some strength,” the Mystic member tells us. “Mostly Gyrados, but also a pretty sweet Blastoise. They just better not come at me with no Jolteon.”

To further complicate matters, a third gang, “Instinct,” bearing yellow insignia, has taken advantage of the chaos between the two leading gangs, and has started encroaching on the library as well. “Yeah, while they take each other down, we sneak in and claim the place for ourselves,” says a high-ranking Instinct leader known only as TheMadMau5. “Keep fighting, idiots. Soon this whole town will be run by the Instincts!”

Despite the ferocious, sometimes deadly battles going on right in front of them, most library patrons are not bothered by the violence, having become so jaded by the carnage that they hardly seem to notice it anymore. “Yeah, honestly, I don’t know what you’re talking about,” said local reader Jake Martel. “You mean those people outside on their phones? Are they still doing that?”

We will keep you updated as this story develops.

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