VERMONT – The state of Vermont, in a desperate attempt to attract young people to live and work within its borders, has begun spicing up its language with slang words that it clearly does not fully understand. The move by the fourteenth oldest state has been described as “totally embarrassing” by some of the younger states such as New Mexico.
“I don’t know,” said Vermont, “I think it’s pretty on fleek up here for living. You and your squad should totally move here, Hundo P. Vermont is straight fire, bruh.”
Alaska was reported to have been rolling its eyes and saying “Please stop. For real. Wyoming is coming over later, and I swear if you humiliate me…”
“Wyoming, eh?” said Vermont. “Sounds lit. Totally Gucci. You have fun and I’ll skurt. Don’t want any shade thrown, except from our beautiful maple trees. We have lovely foliage in October. You should all move here. It’s hella snatched.”
“Tell me you did not just say that,” answered Alaska, storming out of the country. “You are so extra. I’m going back to Canada.”
Despite the cold reception from chilly Alaska, Vermont claims it will continue to use slang because it “totally knows what it’s saying, dawg.”