McAllister Convicted, Shuts Down Popular “Farm-to-Bed” Operation

ST. ALBANS – Former state senator Norm McAllister was found not guilty of a felony yesterday, but couldn’t avoid a misdemeanor charge stemming from his controversial new “Farm-to-Bed” business that he ran out of his farm in Franklin County. While vowing to appeal the conviction, McAllister admitted that this would likely mean the end of his innovative but risqué endeavor.

“I was at this farm-to-table restaurant,” says McAllister, “and right across the street there was another farm-to-table restaurant. Seemed like a good business opportunity, but the market was saturated. And I thought to myself, ‘What other pieces of furniture could I supply from my farm?’ And I was very tired after my big meal, and that’s when it hit me.”

McAllister’s “Farm-to-Bed” operation has been called prostitution, but the former state senator sees it differently. “People want to have sex, and people want to know that the person they are sleeping with is coming from a safe, clean, local farm with no antibiotics or hormones, and we provide that peace of mind for people. You have to pay money for online dating services. Is that prostitution? How is this any different?”

The legal team representing McAllister is confident that the conviction will be overturned, but even if that is the case, it looks like agri-romantically minded Vermonters will have to travel to farms themselves for the foreseeable future.

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