The Winooski

The Winooski

Locally Sourced Organic Vermont Satire

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Month: July 2017

Hinesburg to Host 2026 Olympics

July 21, 2017 The Winooski 0

HINESBURG – After months of speculation and uncertainty the International Olympic Committee (IOC) has announced that the 2026 Winter Olympic Games will take place in […]

Burlington Town Center Relocates to Shelburne Museum

July 20, 2017 The Winooski 0

SHELBURNE – As developers prepare for construction on the land between Church Street and Pine Street, cranes and trucks have been busily carting off the […]

Marvel to Reboot Spider-Man a Third Time, Filming in St. Albans

July 19, 2017 The Winooski 0

ST. ALBANS – Residents of St. Albans are feeling a little safer lately, now that a certain web-slinging superhero is in their midst. Saint Albans […]

New York Farm Developing Giant Marshmallows

July 18, 2017 The Winooski 3

WHALLONSBURG, NY – A local part-time farmer has developed a strain of marshmallows said to be the largest known to man. “One of these big […]

REVIEW: Vermont Plays Larger Role In “Game of Thrones” Premiere

July 17, 2017 The Winooski 0

While the Vermont influence has been felt on HBO’s hit program “Game of Thrones” in the past, never has it been more present than in […]

Syrup & Cows #006 – 7/16/17

July 16, 2017 The Winooski 0

Image Credits: Connor Byam.

McAllister Convicted, Shuts Down Popular “Farm-to-Bed” Operation

July 15, 2017 The Winooski 0

ST. ALBANS – Former state senator Norm McAllister was found not guilty of a felony yesterday, but couldn’t avoid a misdemeanor charge stemming from his […]

New North End Residents Vote to Close Pine Street South of Maple Street

July 14, 2017 The Winooski 0

BURLINGTON – In a controversial vote this week, residents of the New North End of Burlington voted overwhelmingly to close traffic on Pine Street south […]

Underwater Town Discovered – Believed to Be “Lost City of Thetford”

July 13, 2017 The Winooski 2

THETFORD – Underwater explorers studying the Connecticut River have made a startling discovery this week as they searched the river bed for aquatic life and […]

Gov. Scott Opens Up Church Street For Racing

July 12, 2017 The Winooski 0

BURLINGTON – In what many are calling a controversial move, Vermont Governor Phil Scott has turned the once pedestrian-friendly Church Street Marketplace into a strip […]

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