State Business Leaders Unable to Tell Mountains From Valleys

LUDLOW – The Winooski “spotlight” team has uncovered a strange phenomenon happening throughout the state of Vermont. Many government and business leaders have begun to confuse mountains and valleys, seemingly unaware that there is difference between the two. This trend of misinformation began in Ludlow, home of Okemo Mountain and a popular site for skiing and other mountainous activities. But despite Okemo Mountain’s official designation as a mountain, the town leaders have re-branded it as Okemo Valley. Their new website touts the valley’s high peaks and slopeside vacation rentals, which are amenities generally found on mountains.

Jumping on the misinformational trend, Rutland has gotten involved as well, renaming the mountainous area “Killington Valley,” despite being over 600′ above sea level and literally in the middle of a mountain.

“Well, it’s sort of a valley,” insisted Penny Inglee of the Rutland Chamber of Commerce. “I mean, it isn’t a peak is it? Anything on a mountain that isn’t a peak, well, you could sort of say it’s a valley, right? I think this is one of those glass half full glass half empty situations, and valleys are so much less threatening than mountains. A valley is really just a bigger rut, right? I don’t think it’s that much of a stretch. Besides, who cares what we call ourselves! It’s a great place to visit, for valley climbing, valley biking, or just some general valleyeering.”

Citing the success of Ludlow and Rutland in their re-branding efforts, the state legislature will vote on a bill when session begins in January to officially change Vermont’s nickname to “The Green Valley State.”