The Winooski

The Winooski

Locally Sourced Organic Vermont Satire

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Month: December 2017

Syrup & Cows #030 – 12/31/17

December 31, 2017 The Winooski 0

Image Credits: Connor Byam.

2017 – A Look Back at Vermont’s Most Recent Year

December 30, 2017 The Winooski 2

As we begin to look ahead with terror anticipation to the start of a new year, it is always horrifying pleasant to reflect back on the major […]

Suspect Named in Vergennes Bombing; South Canada Cleared

December 29, 2017 The Winooski 0

VERGENNES – Police have named a suspect in the UTC Plant bombing that occurred on December 8th. The explosion was previously thought to be caused […]

Vermont Prosecutor Gets Nothing For Christmas This Year

December 28, 2017 The Winooski 0

BURLINGTON – Chief Deputy State’s Attorney for Chittenden County Justin Jiron was dismayed to find that his parents’ Christmas gifts to him did not arrive […]

GMU School District Proposes Move Back to One-Room Schoolhouse

December 27, 2017 The Winooski 0

CAVENDISH – At a contentious first meeting of the newly formed Green Mountain Unified School District on Tuesday evening, Two Rivers Supervisory Union Superintendent Meg Powden […]

Vermont Decriminalizes Speeding

December 26, 2017 The Winooski 3

MONTPELIER – After Lt. John Flannigan, commander of the state police’s safety programs, reported a large rise in the number of speeding violations, citations, and […]

Satire Website Forces Writers to Work on Major Holiday

December 25, 2017 The Winooski 5

WINOOSKI – Despite multiple protests, air-tight logic, and a democratic vote, writers for The Winooski, an online satire website focusing on the state of Vermont, are […]

Syrup & Cows #029 – 12/24/17

December 24, 2017 The Winooski 0

Image Credits: Connor Byam.

Shoppers Scramble as Black Friday Deals Finally End

December 23, 2017 The Winooski 0

WILLISTON – Last-minute shoppers across the state are concerned about time, now that many Black Friday door-buster deals are coming to an end. The sales, […]

Vermonters Prepare to Stop Enjoying Choral Music For Another Year

December 22, 2017 The Winooski 2

WINOOSKI – As the holiday season winds down, Vermonters all over the state are making preparations to stop attending choral concerts until next December. Christmas […]

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