North Korean Missile Misses Vermont By Only 6000 Miles

PYONGYANG – Many Vermonters are putting bunkers on their Christmas lists this season after a North Korean missile missed the state by less than 6000 miles. The missile was fired from Pyongyang earlier this week, and was aimed directly at Burlington International Airport, located in South Burlington, VT.

“It’s terrifying,” said one South Burlington resident. “Sure that missile hit water just before Japan, but if it had kept going, it could have hit my house!”

The missile traveled approximately 621 miles before hitting the ocean. Vermont is 6545 miles from Pyongyang, making the near miss only 5924 miles from the green mountain state.

“I thought our president was going to put a stop to North Korea!” the South Burlington resident lamented. “Next time it might not stop, and what if they put a nuke on it?! I don’t want to be in the path of a nuke! If this sort of thing keeps up, I might have to move to Essex!”

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