Vermont Closed Today Due to Sickness

WINOOSKI – The entire state of Vermont is closed today, due to the fact that all of its citizens have taken ill. Between colds, the flu, a nasty stomach bug that seems to be going around, and other various ailments, over 99% of Vermont workers are unable to make it in this morning.

This news came as a surprise to the exactly 23 workers who were not sick and tried to go to work, none of them at the same place. After a frustrating hour or so of trying to keep the state up and running, eventually the decision was made to just close everything and take a three-day weekend to recover. All stores, gas stations, offices, schools, and other businesses will not be open until enough people get better to make doing anything worthwhile again.

Vermont hopes to be up and running again by Monday, but you never know with these things.