BURLINGTON – Seeking to set itself apart from competitors such as United Airlines, who recently denied a woman her vitally important emotional support peacock, Delta Airlines has welcomed an emotional support moose that a man brought with him on a flight out of Burlington International Airport (BTV). The unidentified passenger was travelling to Vancouver and had a doctor’s note with him, defining the animal as a medical necessity.
According to the other passengers Delta was very accommodating, even bumping someone off the flight to give the emotional support moose its own seat next to the man. The moose was reportedly very well-behaved for most of the flight, only slightly goring one of the flight attendants during take-off. The moose drank two large bowls of Diet Coke and snacked on some alfalfa that its owner had brought for it.
A representative from Delta stressed that the airline is always happy to provide whatever their customers need, and that they would be happy to fly with other large herbivores in the future. United was not available for comment.
Can non revs qualify? We r heavily stressed on standby
Bumped for a moose. I can get behind that.
You don’t really want to get behind a moose.
Oh fuck I read it as mouse, which didn’t seem like a major problem.
So the article begins with a huge picture of a moose, but you read it as mouse…OK…
You folks don’t really believe they let a moose on a plane do you? Please tell me you are not that stupid.
Why only herbivores? That’s not even trying. Exemplary service would include allowing the carnivores as well….anything to the contrary is just discriminatory…
and they couldn’t require a carnivore to wear one of those mouth guards so s/he couldn’t have passengers for snacks. that would be very poor hosting.
Maybe the carnivore doesn’t like peanuts or pretzels
What if the emotional carnivore has a peanut allergy?
Friend, the moose is probably more dangerous than any given carnivore you could name. It’ll reduce a truck to scrap and not even care.
that’s why United won’t let moose on planes. After a United flight who doesn’t want to reduce a truck to scrap in blind rage?
All U.S. carriers have non-discriminatory policies in effect allowing most carnivores on regularly scheduled flights. Carnivores, as defined here, include a major percentage of the homo sapien species -that is those of said species given to drool at the sight of a good ribeye sizzling on the grill.
Emotional Support Fisher Cat consumes Emotional Support Chicken mid-flight. There’s a lawsuit waiting to happen.
You forgot to mention the emotional support mountain lion that was also onboard, and had to witness that! He now has his own emotional support pug to help him through this trying time, and possibly snack time as well!!!
you have got to be kidding… but funny.
Yay! I can travel with Lord Tyee the wolf beside me (as long as he doesn’t go for the moose’s jugular).
Well done, Delta! Perhaps, now, meal service might be restored the elimination of which is equally outrageous!
Kicking families with small children off a flight or all the others who have been aksed to deplane just b/c they dont like their attitude or b/c they want to give the seat to another person they feel is more important is not a problem but bringing a MOOSE on the plane is OKAY???!!CRAZZZYYYYYY!
you do realize, I hope, that the article is purely satirical in nature?
I would bet they don’t know the meaning of the word “satire”.
Do they know what satire means?
Isn’t is part horse and part man or something like that? 😉
No, that’s “sapphire”.
That’s a Centaur!
To some of the folks commenting here, ‘satire’ means nothing more than riding a swing made from a worn latex car tire hanging from a nearby tree.
In an age where we need satire the most so few people recognise it.
People do such outrageous things now days that it’s understandable they wouldn’t recognize satire, it has become reality. But this is hilarious.
I so agree with you.
Dvorah — small children can certainly travel on these flights as long as one provides a doctor’s note saying it’s medically necessary for the mental well-being of the adult. Likewise, if a passenger with a surly attitude was there as a necessary service human for another passenger, I’m sure it would be permissible.
Rich – Bahahahahaha
The same airline had to put a pilot on my flight b/c of needed emotional supppport for one of the passengers (ME).
It’s a satire site, Dvorah. Calm your tits
Satire
Cuz families with small children are annoying and having children at all is selfish and irresponsible.
Jamie, that makes small children on planes the opposite of emotional support animals. They cancel each other out like matter and anti-matter. I’m sure you’ve noticed that – there’s a little “poof” and both emotions and responsibility are gone.
Can you say satire? A moose is huge and probably wouldn’t even fit through the door of the plane, let alone walk down the aisle. The whole story is so ridiculous that it is hilarious… Personally, I laughed so hard I was crying… Man, I’d hate to be the ground crew at the destination airport… can you imagine the condition of the seats after a couple of hours of flight?
Man, I’d hate to be the ground crew at the destination airport… can you imagine the condition of the seats after a couple of hours of flight?
Remember the joke about lumberjacks’ cooking: anyone who complained got stuck with the job. One lumberjack got tired of the job, tried to get rid of it with bad cooking. But no one complained. He finally tried putting moose sh*t in the pancakes. Response: “Aaaagh! *Moose sh*t!* … But GOOD!”
— As the ground crew, wanting to keep their jobs, might say.
It wasn’t pancakes. It was a pie.
Well I live in NB and my moose is quite well trained. Trained to go outside to relieve himself and is quite docile inside. I am having some problems with his cude chewing in the middle of the night though. And gas if he gets into too much willow.
Satire. They are pointing out the sheer over use of supposed emotional support animals. Making fun of the egregious use and lying about the animals use.
Ooooohhhhhhhh. Now I get it !!!
erm, satire much?
Dvorah: IT’S SATIRE! go take a nap.
Is this a joke?
Yes!
Shhhhh…dont tell them that. Let them spread internet rumors….
Can’t believe you had to ask…
Nope, not a joke! Honest! Trust me!
Wait. Janet, are you REALLY asking if a major airline bumped some passengers to allow an emotional-support moose on a plane that was, for the most part, well-behaved and only slightly gored a flight attendant during takeoff?
Are you really asking this?
Janet asks: “is this a joke?” Honey, if you have to ask….
FORGET THE MOOSE,JUST GIVE ME A STEAK WITH A BAKED POTATOE. THAT IS MY EMOTIONAL SUPPORT.
What was the name of the vice presidential candidate who had someone add the letter E to the end of the word potato?
Dan Quayle
Would that be a moose steak? Just asking…
I was thinking same thing.L.O.L
Interesting, I like it! What happens if the moose decides it is unhappy/scared and starts to jump around and kicking. Its kicking can damage the plane. It is not like someone can get up behind it and wrestle it to the floor and subdue it…? I know, I know…it is a pet, but unconventional pets can get out of hand.
Perhaps the moose could use an emotional support animal also, say, a wolf, perhaps…
A squirrel, ferpetessake…
Moose and Squirrel, some will probably not get that’s a Joke either,….
Whatsamatta U.
Borris, dahlingk. We need to kill squirrel but stupid moose in the way.
Love,
Natasha
A VT catamount would take up less room.
But a cassowary bird would eat pretzels. They are superior emotional support friends. I highly recommend them.
HAHAHAHAHA (gasp) HAHAHAHAHA!!! Well done!
Hint, next time watch the lighting when you Photoshop – gives y’all away…
We like to think bad Photoshopping adds to the joke.
Agree. Well done. Still grinning.
That was photoshopped? Wow, it looked SOOOOOO real.
THIS is a joke, right ? ? ? ?
No, it really happened.
Caroleena: Are you really unsure?
Awesome! I’m been wanting to take my cloned T-Rex to the Bahamas for some R&R. Now I can
Cloned T-Rexes are SO calming. I applaud you for your self-care.
How can you applaud with such tiny arms?
Everyone can tell that it was Photoshopped.
Mooses do not have blonde hair.
Would anyone want to try a guess on how large a moose is? …..who would get the armrest?
Exactly
The moose would probably sue the airline because they would make it buy two or three seats to accommodate its outsized butt… but that would be “fat-shaming” or sizism or some other microaggression… those unfair anti-herbivorists at the airline… geeze!
I can’t believe how many people think this is real. Gullible much?
I need my Emotional Support alligator with me at all times.
I read about something similar but the animal was a bull. One of its horns punctured the aircraft fuselage causing the cabin to depressurize rapidly. Fortunately they were able to land the aircraft safely.
The really crazy thing is the moose’s suitcase was over 50lbs with no extra charge.
JFH, that made me laugh out loud.
I quite frankly would be happy to have Bullwinkle sit next to me.
Well, have you ever read “If You Give a Moose a Muffin?” You alrady know how this happened. The moose will want some jam for his muffin. If he is in Arizona and only wants the freshest blueberry jam, he will have to find some say to fly to Maine. So, he finds an emotionally unstable human and offers his support services . . . and that is “the rest of the story!”
This is great news for me and Snooky, my support Hell Hound.
Is your Hell Hound from the Jersey shore? Then perhaps it’s related to my Hell Hound Bruce. Small world.
Is your Hell Hound from the Jersey shore? If so, may be related to my Hell Hound Bruce.
This was hilarious!! Thank you! I really needed this laugh today….
Funniest part is the people that asked if it was real! Actually, no I take that back. The satire was funny. Those people that asked if it was for real are crazy sick and live in a friggin hole.
What a cool post! Having grown up with moose wandering in and out of our yard in Alaska, I can really relate to the “support” aspect! But, never, ever, in my entire life would I believe someone actually wanted to, or was allowed to, take it on any kind of travel vehicle! This is hilarious! But points out, once again, that people are gullible when they are uninformed or accept anything they see in print, as if it’s in the Bible. Only Noah could have given the moose a berth! 🙂 LOLOLOL!
How do I get an emotional support moose? Are they expensive?
HOW CAN THEY KICK SOMEONE (IMAGINE IF THAT’S YOU) OFF THE FLIGHT OVER SOMEONE ELSES ANIMAL? I FIND THIS RATHER DISTURBING.
I am heartened to see that Delta was generous enough to welcome the emotional support moose. Personally, I very much like meese, and can understand why someone would need to take theirs along. Unfortunately, I come from a part of the world where meese are a rarity. You might be lucky enough to have an elk or a reindeer as your companion animal, but a moose … just a dream. However, I have a very dear donkey friend, and it just breaks my heart to have to leave him at home when I go on vacation. So, of course, next time I fly, it will definitely be with Delta!
Language tip: You say satire, I say satyr.
John Hernz: you ARE kidding, right?
LOLs @ the folks that think this actually happened…
To all that for some reason thought this was real. 1) Moose are so big, that it would just be a moose’s head and antlers in a seat like this, like they took it off their wall at home and had it loaded into a seat on the plane. 2) Next time you see something like this, research and think about it before commenting, to avoid looking extremely stupid in public. Just saying.
And the people who brought the moose and squirrel onto the plane were named Boris and Natasha, right? Or, at least, one can hope.
‘Sarcasm’ may share some letters with ‘stupid,’ although they could look similar when viewed peripherally.
Nope that would be Rocky and Bullwinkle.
Some brains are wired for satire, some are wired for literalism.
The comments are funnier than the article
As you probably suspect, dolphins make the best therapy pets. This will cause major headaches for airline executives, headaches that can only be effectively treated by dolphins. The vicious cycle of life!
When I want or need a laugh The Winooski is there.
Sorry, I wrote the release for Delta , It should read mouse. Support Mouse!