WINOOSKI – Trevor Walsh of Winooski, VT was horrified on Saturday morning when he woke up and saw his best green t-shirt sitting in the laundry bin. Not realizing the date, Walsh had mistakenly worn the shirt on March 16th and had no time to launder it before heading out of the house the following day.
“I just felt sick to my stomach,” Walsh said. “I looked in my drawer for my green shirt, my only green shirt, and when it wasn’t there I just knew. I had worn it yesterday. What was I thinking?! And I spilled ranch on it. Ugh. I mean, I have other shirts that have some green on them, but some green isn’t the same as green. And I’m supposed to go out drinking all night! What am I supposed to do, wear a blue shirt?!”
Several of Walsh’s friends confirmed that they intend to mock him incessantly throughout the day, and some mild physical violence will be directed at him. Walsh is considering staying home instead and drinking green beer by himself in his apartment until he passes out to avoid feeling as though he had done something shameful.