The Winooski

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Locally Sourced Organic Vermont Satire

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Month: April 2018

A Quick and Easy Way for Vermonters to Check if Their Facebook Info Was Hacked

April 10, 2018 The Winooski 0

With the recent revelations regarding Facebook’s loss of user’s personal and private data to stereotypical super-villain Cambridge Analytica, many Vermonters are left wondering if their […]

Bernie Sanders Insults Red Sox Legacy on Fenway Park Anniversary

April 9, 2018 The Winooski 1

BOSTON, MA – Vermont Senator Bernie Sanders has lost a few of his own fans this week after angering sports fans at an event in […]

Syrup & Cows #044 – 4/8/18

April 8, 2018 The Winooski 0

Image Credits: Connor Byam.

Governor Scott Looking For New State Treasurer With More Dance Experience

April 7, 2018 The Winooski 3

MONTPELIER – After the sudden resignation of Vermont Secretary of Education Rebecca Holcombe, more shake-ups may be coming to some of Vermont’s key leadership positions. […]

Super Troopers Coming to Broadway in 2019

April 6, 2018 The Winooski 0

MANHATTAN, NY – The Richard Rogers Theater on W 46th street in Manhattan has announced plans to premiere a new Broadway musical based on the […]

President Trump Promises to Bring Coal Jobs Back to Vermont

April 5, 2018 The Winooski 0

UNDERHILL – Speaking at a recent fundraising event in West Virginia, U.S. President Donald Trump made a promise to the people of Vermont that he […]

Kristin Kelly Holds First GMP Press Conference: “Tune in at 6:00 for the Full Story”

April 4, 2018 The Winooski 1

RUTLAND –  Reporters were confused today while attending a Green Mountain Power press conference called by newly announced Director of Communications Kristin Kelly.  The conference […]

Middlebury Students Refuse to Acknowledge Middle-Aged Woman as Peer

April 3, 2018 The Winooski 0

MIDDLEBURY – A thirty-nine-year-old woman from Middlebury is calling out a group of students at Middlebury College for their continued insistence that she is not […]

Festival For Expectant Mothers Cancelled After Passage of New Gun Laws

April 2, 2018 The Winooski 0

WOODSTOCK – A Vermont festival planned for August has cancelled its event and is currently looking for alternative venues in other states. “Baby Bump Stock” […]

Syrup & Cows #043 – 4/1/18

April 1, 2018 The Winooski 0

Image Credits: Connor Byam.

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