Burlington Public Works Team Attacked by Rogue Sinkhole

BURLINGTON – A Burlington Public Works team was ambushed yesterday in a cowardly attack by a splinter cell of the Pine Street Sinkhole Collective.  The rogue sinkhole, previously unmonitored and undetected by city officials, made its attack suddenly from below, as is often their tactic. Burlington DPW has recently increased security along the troubled corridor, allowing only 5-10% of vehicles through as the patrols search very slowly for PSSC covert operatives.

The truck is not the first casualty of the war between the DPW and the PSSC, although many hope it will be the last. But before a renewed effort can be put into ending the PSSC threat once and for all, other members of the truck’s unit are determined to free their imprisoned compatriot. While the vehicle operator could not be reached for comment, one anonymous public works employee was quoted as saying “I dunno how they’re gonna get’er out, but one things for sure.  If that damn truck sees its own shadow, there’s gonna be four more weeks of construction season!”

Image Credits: Jerome Chalker.