Woodford Man Sues eHarmony After Being Paired With Joy Butterworth

WOODFORD – Online dating service eHarmony.com offers three months of free site access if you are unable to find a meaningful romantic connection, but that wasn’t enough for one man in Woodford, VT who is claiming that his last match-up was both cruel and unusual.

“I don’t just want my money back,” said Harry Bachelder, “I want compensation for pain and suffering. This is Vermont, and they’re putting me with Mrs. Butterworth? I’m having chest pains just thinking about it!”

A representative from eHarmony said that, while they do not take customer complaints lightly, Bachelder and Butterworth were a 94% compatability match and that Bachelder “should not give up on the relationship based on a narrow prejudice.”

“First of all, they never asked me how important maple syrup was to me on their little questionairre,” Bachelder said in response. “Because it’s pretty frickin’ important. I’m not the one to blame here. There was a question about skiiing, yeah, but nothing, nada, zip about syrup. I’m sure Joy is a fine person, but no way in hell am I going to be seen in public with Mrs. Butterworth.”

For her part, Butterworth says she is open to the relationship and would even consider trying real Vermont maple syrup if it would smooth things over.

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