State Unveils New Employment Partnership with Mafia Called “Vermobsters”
MONTPELIER – The State of Vermont unveiled a joint employment partnership with the Mafia this week called “Vermobsters.” Gov. Phil Scott held a joint press conference […]
Month: September 2018
Joffrey Baratheon Aquitted of all Crimes, Jury Declares “He Was Only 17”
KINGS LANDING – Mutiple individuals have come forward over recent months, claiming that they were sexually assaulted, tortured, beheaded, or otherwise attacked by Joffrey Baratheon, […]
UVM Fraternity Goes Bankrupt After Throwing Kegger with Foam Microbrew
BURLINGTON – UVM fraternity Iota Rho Alpha’s latest rager has forced them to file bankruptcy, sources report. While other frat houses fill their kegs with cheap […]
Woodford Man Sues eHarmony After Being Paired With Joy Butterworth
WOODFORD – Online dating service eHarmony.com offers three months of free site access if you are unable to find a meaningful romantic connection, but that […]
Syrup & Cows #067 – 9/15/18 – Holiday Decorations
Image Credits: Connor Byam.
OPINION: Burlington High School Has a Problem With [REDACTED]
Hi, my name is [REDACTED] and I am a [REDACTED] at Burlington High School. You may have read recently that our school is having a […]
Local Satire Site Completely Sells Out
WINOOSKI – Vermont satire site The Winooski has announced that it has sold its soul to new corporate overlords at VTDigger.org and will now provide content […]
Dave Zuckerman Promoted to “Commander Governor” Because Nobody Can Spell “Lieutenant”
MONTPELIER – Vermont’s former Lieutenant Governor David “Zuck” Zuckerman has been promoted this week to Commander Governor in a formal ceremony on the state house […]
Vermont Girl Trapped in Store after Maplefields Runs Out of Jeezum Scarecrows
ENOSBURG FALLS – With sightings of the troublesome jeezum crows increasing, some store are running out of protective measures against the obnoxious corvids. On Tuesday […]
We Tried to Get Bernie’s Staffers to Write an Anonymous Editorial, but They All Really Like Him So It Came Out Super Boring
WASHINGTON DC – The New York Times made a big splash with its op-ed from an anonymous member of the Trump administration, and that got us […]