The Winooski

The Winooski

Locally Sourced Organic Vermont Satire

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Month: October 2018

Local Retailers Reporting Eye of Newt Shortage

October 31, 2018 The Winooski 0

WILLISTON – Many of Vermont’s retailers are reporting a shortage on eye of newt, including the big box stores in Williston. This generally unpopular item […]

Vermonters Attempt to Ward Off Evil Spirits By Dressing as Terrifying Creatures

October 30, 2018 The Winooski 0

WINOOSKI – The celebration of Halloween has morphed from its original spiritual roots to a commercialized festival of fun, following other notable holidays such as […]

Milton Tries to Avoid Ballot Confusion By Adding Identifying Information For Candidates

October 29, 2018 The Winooski 0

MILTON – With many reports of candidate confusion coming in during early voting, the town of Milton has decided to add relationships and other information […]

Syrup & Cows #073 – 10/28/18 – Costume Contest

October 28, 2018 The Winooski 0

Image Credits: Connor Byam.

Local Man Accidentally Dances Like No One is Watching In Front of Large Crowd

October 27, 2018 The Winooski 0

SOUTH BURLINGTON – “Oh God, look at Dan!” “What is Dan doing?” “You guys have to see this!” Within minutes the entire room of wedding […]

Maine and Vermont Enter Into Bidding War for New Residents

October 26, 2018 The Winooski 0

WINOOSKI – As Vermont struggles with retention of younger residents, the state of Maine has fired new shots in a war to see which state […]

South Canada in Need of Doctors After Switching to “Zero Payer” Health Care System

October 25, 2018 The Winooski 0

SOUTH CANADA – If you live in the tiny country of South Canada and are in need of medical attention, there is good news and […]

Putin Accuses Vermont Satire Site of Meddling in Russian Affairs

October 24, 2018 The Winooski 0

WINOOSKI – The Russian government has launched an investigation into an American website after Vladmir Putin accused the site of meddling in Russian affairs. Vermont […]

Burlington Considers Moving Ice Art Due to Lack of Diversity

October 23, 2018 The Winooski 1

BURLINGTON – If you were in Burlington recently you may have seen the latest piece of protest art created by Brazilian artist NĂ©le Azevedo. The […]

Vermont State Police Now Using DNA Tests To Catch Serial Litterers

October 22, 2018 The Winooski 0

MILTON – A beer can on the side of the road used to be just an eyesore, but now it may also be evidence as […]

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