With Success of Dennis Hof, More Dead Candidates Lining Up for 2019

MONTPELIER – Many questioned whether a confirmed dead person could possibly be elected to public office, but with the successful campaign of deceased candidate Dennis Hof, who died almost a month before the elections took place and will be Nevada’s only dead elected official, more dearly departed candidates are hoping to score similar victories in 2019 and 2020.

In Vermont, singer Jerry Garcia will be on the ballot next year, despite having passed away in 1995. Supporters are launching an early awareness campaign for the mortified musician, hoping to capitalize on his non-living status.

“Yeah, some folks are telling me, like, ‘He’s dead, man,'” said supporter Weston Peeze, “and I’m like, ‘Yeah, man! He sure is! Of course he’s Dead! He’ll always be Dead! Dead forever! Whooo!'”

Some Vermont lawmakers are hoping to pass legislation prior to the 2019 election cycle that would prevent expired candidates from taking part in elections. Potential future candidate Chester A. Arthur, a prominent lawyer and former president who was born in Vermont, says he will file a suit if such legislation blocks him from future office.

“The Constitution says nothing about rights belonging only to the living,” Arthur’s perished personage potificated. “I’ve pushed up all the daises I care to push up, and I’m eyeing the governorship in 2020.”

Arthur did not specify which party he would run under, despite being a Republican leader during his original lifetime.

Liked it? Take a second to support The Winooski on Patreon!
Become a patron at Patreon!

Be the first to comment

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.