SOUTH CANADA – As the legislative season begins in the minute nation of South Canada, a new bill was passed this week to create an artificial lake large enough to house a sea monster. Construction on the lake will begin once the ground is thawed, and officials say they hope to have the body of water completed by October of this year.
Concern had previously been raised among the citizenry regarding the lack of terrifying monsters in their country and, after analyzing several other plans, including attempting to make their own monster, the final plan was made to attract an existing monster from a neighboring area.
“It just sucked that we didn’t have a monster, you know?” said teenage Speaker of the House Madison James. “America has Champ and Trump, Canada has the Wendigo and Justin Bieber, it just didn’t seem fair. So I sponsored a bill to move South Canada in the right direction. A more monstrous direction.”
South Canadians seem excited about the plan, which will involve the creation of many jobs and which is expected to significantly increase tourism if Champ does successfully settle in the new lake. Because of the land area limitations of the small country, most of the new body of water is planned to be vertical, with the surface area being less than a square mile, but with a depth of 4000 feet.
“I can’t think of any reason why Champ wouldn’t want to come here,” said Alan Fletcher, the Secretary of the Treasury who is also heading up the planning phase of the project. “It’s going to be a really nice lake for him, ten times deeper than Lake Champlain. And we named our lake after him too! I actually got to name it, and I thought, I want a name that will make Champ say ‘oooooo!’ So that’s what I named it! Champ, oooooo! Lake Champoo will be ready for him to move into by the fall, and it will be a magnificent cylinder of water. Plus we can offer a lot of nice dirt.”