Burlington Residents Sue City to Prevent Pothole Repair

BURLINGTON – A citizens group in Vermont’s largest city has filed a suit against Burlington that would prevent the repair or filling of any potholes, claiming that the holes in the roads are unique ecosystems and important to the “feel of the city.”

“We understand that they may be problematic for the privileged members of society who own cars,” said Amy Tedd, one of the groups founders, “but there are a lot of people in Chittenden County who use those potholes for washing, fishing, or recreation. And what would Burlington be, what would Vermont be, without potholes? The people in charge are making decisions without thinking of the most vulnerable members of society who depend on these road features.

“Burlington residents don’t want a better place to live! We don’t want it to be cleaner, safer, or more beautiful! We like it just the way it is. When you tell us you are going to ‘fix’ something, what you’re saying is that you don’t value the city. But we love and accept Burlington as it is right now. We fully value it, potholes and all. Can our leaders say the same?”

The suit also points to scientific data regarding the number of species that reside in these microcosmic ecosystems, systems that would be destroyed if the city were to fill in the holes. Aside from insects, algae, and various fungi, many residents have observed small fish, eels, and even a stick that looks like Champ in the city’s potholes.

“I seen squirrels drinking out of ’em, chipmunks hidin’ in ’em, all sort o’ critters,” said group member Beau Legge. “I don’t actually live up in Burlington, but I do like critters, and I saw this group up there on m’Facebook, so I joined up an’ errythin’ to help ’em out.”

Burlington Mayor Miro Weinberger has not responded to the claim in court, but has told protesters outside of City Hall that he has heard their concerns, and had no plans to fix any of the potholes in the next few months anyway.