Glacio-Americans Celebrate the Infernal Equinox
WAITSFIELD – Last night marked the Infernal Equinox, the one night each year when Glacio-Americans come together for one last night of dancing and debauchery […]
Month: March 2019
Data Miners Struggling to Sell Info on Vermonters – “They Just Don’t Buy Much”
MONTPELIER – With Vermont’s new law requiring internet data brokers to register with the state, the once secretive industry is beginning to come out into […]
Vermont Business Invites Tree Huggers to Help Squeeze Sap Out of Stubborn Maples
NORTH HERO – A farm nestled in Vermont’s Lake Champlain Islands has achieved the pinnacle of capitalism; their customers pay for the privilege of doing […]
Bernie Sanders Treated For Minor Injuries After Several Female Candidates Shatter Glass Ceiling
SOUTH CAROLINA – Vermont Senator and presidential hopeful Bernie Sanders was injured this weekend after being hit by flying glass from a nearby ceiling that […]
Gov Scott Launches Campaign to Promote Smoking, Drinking, Gambling, to Make Up For Lost Gas, Sales Taxes
MONTPELIER – Tax income in Vermont is down. As residents turn to electric cars, gas tax revenue is beginning to decline. Reduce, reuse, recycle campaigns […]
14 Parents and Staff Charged with 4-H Related Fraud in Mountain School Admissions Scandal
VERSHIRE – In the wake of the scandal that rocked the world of America’s most elite colleges this week, further scrutiny into other programs has […]
Facebook, Instagram Down; Happiness Index Soars
WINOOSKI – Vermont has recently been ranked as the best place to live in America, beating out Hawaii for the happiest state for the first […]
NASA Tests Out New Asteroid Rover on Vermont Roads
WOODSTOCK – With NASA’s OSIRIS-REx making a successful landing on asteroid Bennu in December, more missions are planned, including advanced rovers that will drive over […]
Under Pressure From the State, UVM Medical Center Finally Admits Numbers and Prices are Imaginary Concepts
BURLINGTON – Facing intense scrutiny from the state legislature following the discussion around bill S.31, the University of Vermont Medical Center has admitted that, were […]