Physicists Travel to Vermont to Study Law of Conservation of Holes

BARRE – A new scientific theory has physicists gathering in Barre, VT this week to study a phenomenon that has led to what many are calling “The Law of Conservation of Holes.” After much of the work done to improve streets and roads in the area seems to have had little to no effect, these researchers are trying to figure out what is happening.

“It’s a pretty simple theory,” said Dr. Khan Ghekshun who traveled here from MIT. “Holes can neither be created or destroyed. They can only be moved around. Every time a pothole is ‘filled,’ another hole, or multiple holes of equal combined size to the original, appears nearby.”

While there is ample evidence to support this new law, other theories abound, including one that suggests black holes may be responsible for some of the problems in the state’s dirt roads. The team that was responsible for imaging the first black hole is planning a trip to the state as well, hoping to capture an image of a tiny black hole nestled in the back roads of the Northeast Kingdom.

“It would certainly be a lot cheaper,” said lead scientist Dr. Katie Bouman. “I am planning to bring a team, including a very promising young male scientist, to image potential black holes using our phones. We usually use iPhones, but for this we felt that it would be more appropriate to use a Galaxy.”

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  1. Love the subtle puns tucked in here and there. And the promising young male scientist. Nice to give them a mention now and then.

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