The Winooski

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Month: May 2019

VT Department of Health Encourages Unvaccinated Children to Eat Food Off Floors

May 21, 2019 The Winooski 0

BURLINGTON – As the number of unvaccinated children in the state grows due to religious beliefs that public health is unimportant and everyone else can […]

Burlington Group Vows to Pre-obstruct Projects That Haven’t Been Proposed Yet

May 20, 2019 The Winooski 0

BURLINGTON – Unveiling a new anti-development strategy, local activist Steve Goodkind, who admits to being neither good nor kind, asked, “Why should we opposers have […]

Syrup & Cows #102 – 5/19/19 – Commencement

May 19, 2019 The Winooski 0

Image Credits: Connor Byam.

New Dictionary For Vermonters Omits the Letter “T”

May 18, 2019 The Winooski 2

ORLEANS – If you’ve ever failed a Vermont spelling test because you couldn’t figure out the correct letters in “Snallbins,” you may just find redemption […]

Governor Unsure Which Issue He is Most Ambivalent About

May 17, 2019 The Winooski 1

MONTPELIER – After what some are calling a frustratingly unproductive legislative session, Vermont Democrats have only a few days left to craft something for the […]

Lincoln Reverses Course, Will Allow South to Secede

May 16, 2019 The Winooski 0

WASHINGTON – In a stunning turnaround that goes against everything he once fought for, former president Abraham Lincoln has announced that he regrets fighting to […]

Party-goers Unsure Whether Pot Cookies Are Gluten Free

May 15, 2019 The Winooski 0

BURLINGTON – A small gathering of friends was thrown into chaos this weekend, as party-goers spent a few uncertain moments trying to figure out whether […]

Vermont Bans Sale of Alcohol, Limits Possession

May 14, 2019 The Winooski 0

MONTPELIER – After a lengthy debate that lasted more than two days, the Vermont legislature has approved a bill that would ban the sale of […]

More Vermonters Choosing “None of Your Business” On Their Headstones

May 13, 2019 The Winooski 3

STOWE – A famous tombstone in Stowe reads: I was somebody. Who, is no business of yours. But now it may be sparking a trend. […]

Syrup & Cows #101 – 5/12/19 – Card Game

May 12, 2019 The Winooski 0

Image Credits: Connor Byam.

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