WINOOSKI – In a shocking discovery, the undercover team at The Winooski has discovered that other states besides Vermont have unpredictable or remarkable weather patterns. This information will be devastating to Vermonters who, since recorded history began, have believed themselves to have unique weather patterns that have served as a source of pride for generations.
The team began their research after discovering that certain memes online about Vermont’s weather had also been circulating the internet with the names of other states replacing “Vermont” on the image. The assumption was that these memes would be unpopular, due to their poor attempt at trying to connect with a foreign audience using specifically Vermontual facts. But these memes did just as well in other states as they did back home. How could this have been possible?
“We always say here in Vermont, ‘Don’t like the weather? Wait five minutes!'” said investigative reporter Sly Basilisk. “But apparently they say that in Maine as well! And in Chicago! And, God help us all, in Texas!”
Many of Vermont’s most popular snow memes seem also applicable to such far-flung lands as Washington state, Minnesota, and New Hampshire. For example, we have one Vermont meme about winter:
But Basilisk also found this similar meme circulating in Minnesota:
“We didn’t know what to make of it,” Basilisk said, “until we came to the terrible conclusion that other parts of the country, or even the world, must have similar experiences to ours. And that the things we thought made us special, well, other people have some of those things too. So now we can’t tell if everyone is special, or if no one is!”
As this story develops, we will update this page with information on who is or is not special. Until then, please continue your belief in local and personal exceptionalism.
Maine can lay claim to “You can’t get there from here.,” though.