Struck Down Bernie Sanders Actually More Powerful Than We Can Possibly Imagine

MIAMI – Possible Democrat Bernie Sanders took the stage last night at the second of two primary debates, despite being struck down almost three years ago by the Sith. Sanders has spent the last several decades as the only person fighting for what some considered hokey ideas and ancient policy platforms, but gained new life several years ago when he was discovered by youthful rebels eager to change the system.

Though Sanders is not expected to win the nomination at this point, his untimely destruction has led to a whole new crop of younger followers eager to revive his order and receive his council. Gaining victory via defeat, Sanders’ power and influence were felt heavily on the stage as his words and thoughts acquired new life through the words of the new generation of candidates.

“Use the force, Kamala,” Bernie’s force ghost said eerily as Sen. Harris (D-CA) flew her fighter directly at Uncle Death Star and fired her missiles into his exhaust port. “Very good. You’ve taken your first step into a larger world.”

Almost all of the policy questions asked at the debate were centered around Sanders’ platform of Health Care and College for all, and his power flowed through each candidate there. Yes, he is one with the force now, but the force surrounded and penetrated the debates; it bound everyone together. For better or for worse, Bernie Sanders has become more powerful than we could have ever imagined.

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