The Winooski

The Winooski

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Month: August 2019

Vermont Asks All Women to Leave State for VP’s Weekend Visit

August 31, 2019 The Winooski 5

SOUTH BURLINGTON – Vice President Mike Pence’s plane landed at Burlington International Airport Friday morning, and the Secret Service requested that all the women in […]

UVM’s Plan To Introduce Live, Free-Range Catamounts on Campus

August 30, 2019 Jill Allen 1

BURLINGTON – With the Federal government defanging the laws that protect endangered species across the US, local feline enthusiast and philanthropist Kitty Katz has a […]

Brookfield Purchases Burlington Rail Line, Renames it “CityTrench”

August 29, 2019 The Winooski 0

BURLINGTON – Brookfield Asset Management, the company responsible for the creation of Burlington’s beloved downtown pit, is planning a second project that could rival the […]

Citing Declining Readership Outside of Other Sections, Times-Argus Becomes Obituary-Only Newspaper

August 28, 2019 The Winooski 0

BARRE – The Barre-Montpelier Times-Argus has switched formats and will now publish only the obituary section of the newspaper. While other stories will appear on […]

Trump Vows to Nuke Hurricanes and Make Atlantis Pay For It

August 27, 2019 The Winooski 0

WASHINGTON – US President Donald Trump is firing back against reports that he claimed he would use nuclear weapons to protect the country from hurricanes. […]

“He Seemed Like a Nice Guy” – Neighbors React to Vermont Man With Only One Job

August 26, 2019 The Winooski 2

BURLINGTON – According to reports coming out of Burlington, Lance Freeman lives his life while only holding on to one job. Freeman lives with his […]

Syrup & Cows #116 – 8/25/19 – Young Adults

August 25, 2019 The Winooski 0

Image Credits: Connor Byam.

BREAKING: VT Government Testing New Teleporter on Unsuspecting Vehicles

August 24, 2019 Jill Allen 0

BURLINGTON – Burlington resident Minny Driver is fed up with road work on her home street. “I’ve had to get the undercarriage of my Mini […]

Classical Music Purist Vigilantes Steal Modern Equipment From Chamber Music Festival

August 23, 2019 The Winooski 1

COLCHESTER – The police are currently on the lookout for members of a vigilante music group calling themselves “Da Capo,” believing them to be responsible […]

Citing Success of Banning Cellphones While Driving, Vermont Bans Cellphones

August 22, 2019 The Winooski 0

MONTPELIER – Travelers entering the state of Vermont will no longer be able to retain their mobile devices thanks to a new law passed this […]

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