MONTPELIER – Vermont’s leading group of psychologists, the Vermont Psychological Association (VPA), has endorsed Donald Trump for a second presidential term, citing the sharp rise in business since November of 2016. The organization, based in Montpelier, will hold fundraisers for President Trump in the hopes of seeing another term of anxiety, depression, and despair.
“The guy’s been great for business,” said one member, whose name we promised not to print, but can confirm rhymes with ‘Darles Chuffy.’ “We had such a decline in business during the Obama years. Everyone just seemed a little happier, more at peace with the world, it was really bad for anyone in the psychological profession. But now things are booming, and we’d like to keep it that way. Can you imagine the drop in clients if Bernie were elected? We’d never do business in this state again!”
As a group, the majority of VPA members voted to endorse President Trump, however we were unable to find any one individual practitioner who would admit to having voted for the endorsement. Each psychologist asked us to tell their patients that they would never support the man who has been tormenting their mental health for the past few years.
“It’s unfortunate that the vote went the way it did,” said Dr. Charles Duffy, one of Montpelier’s leading psychologists. “I am very concerned for my patients and, whatever happens next November, we’ll get through it together.”