Vermont Bans Single-Use Plastic Pumpkins

MONTPELIER – After controversial moves supporting bans on single-use plastics, including bags and straws, the state of Vermont has made another big move prohibiting the sale of single-use plastic pumpkins commonly used by children for trick-or-treating. Parents are conflicted about the move, which will potentially remove one more piece of plastic crap from their homes, but which also threatens their strong sense of nostalgia, which drives most political decisions.

A few people tried to argue that they used their plastic pumpkins more than once, but were unable to provide evidence. Most of the protesters thought they had used the pumpkins multiple years, but under further investigation they were shown to have purchased new pumpkins frequently, due to loss or damage.

“This is the right move for Vermont,” Gov. Phil Scott said, as he signed the bill dressed as a giant skeleton. “It’s going to encourage kids to use renewable resources such as pillowcases, rather than carbon burning plastics. And you can fit way more candy into a pillowcase anyway. Why would anyone use the far less efficient plastic pumpkins?”

Concerns were acknowledged about price points and the economics of the often 99-cent pumpkins versus the more expensive pillowcases, but these were shot down in debate.

“I voted against this,” said state representative Trudy Senter. “I was the only one, but their arguments that every family already has pillowcases just doesn’t hold up with me. Who are we, in our privilege, to assume that all families can afford pillowcases, or pillows, or even beds? We can’t make that decision for individual families.”

Although no new plastic pumpkins will be sold in Vermont, children will still be permitted to use the ones they already have, and plastic pumpkins sold in other states will also be allowed.

“All this is,” said Senter, “is just another big win for the plastic pumpkin industry in New Hampshire.”

Image Credits: Robert Kunda.